


Kith and Kin

by laughablyunimportant



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crushes, Everybody Loves Jake English, Incest, M/M, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:59:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laughablyunimportant/pseuds/laughablyunimportant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't mean to sound conceited, but everyone that meets Jake English really does fall in love with him! The only clear course of action if to ask John for advice. After meeting up with him in person to discuss all this, of course.</p><p>Wait. Wait. He fucked this up.</p><p>[permanently abandoned]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

gogathasTerror [GT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

GT: Hey there chap!

           John blinked. GT was…Jake, right? What was he messaging John for?

EB: jake?  
GT: Spot-on assessment my boy.  
EB: hehe, okay?  
EB: uhm don't take this the wrong way but, why are you messaging me?  
GT: Cant a nebulously related descendant reach out to his kin for a little familial bonding without getting the third degree?  
EB: sure, i guess! i never did thank you for liv tyler, she sort of saved my ass.  
GT: Dont mention it!  
EB: oh, alright then. it was still very nice of you to help jade with that.  
GT: Yes, she is a right fine gal, isn't she?

           John bit his lip, thinking, trying to ignore the flush creeping up his neck. 

EB: jade sure is a really good friend.

           Oh geeze no that was terrible. Time for a subject change.

EB: so what's up?  
GT: Er well.  
GT: Alright i suppose i should be frank with you lad.  
GT: My motives in contacting you are less than pure.

           Oh man this was even worse! 

EB: jake i'm really flattered and everything   
GT: I need some advice on things of a romantic persuasion.  
EB: but i  
EB: wait what?  
GT: Oh my did you think   
EB: no i was just pranking you HAHAHA  
EB: THAT WAS A GREAT PRANK  
EB: PRANKING IS TOTALLY THE THING THAT IS HAPPENING HERE  
GT: I see.  
GT: You might be able to offer me especial insight then on the problems of the heart that seem to plague me.   
EB: i'm not so sure about all that!  
EB: maybe you should just lay it on me and i'll see if i can do anything.  
GT: Oh sugarsauce i guess youre right.  
GT: Alright well i hope this wont make you think too terribly ill of me or anything.  
GT: I know i talk a big game sometimes but im a really down to earth chap if you get to know me.  
GT: Taking pleasure in the simple things like fisticuffs and a good movie.  
GT: Perhaps thats part of my appeal im not really sure.  
GT: But i seem to find myself in the middle of a tangled web of hearts.  
EB: maybe i'm being slow but  
EB: what exactly are you saying here???  
GT: Well it would seem that a number of my friends are interested in me.  
GT: Romantically.  
EB: oh.  
EB: dude that doesn't sound so bad.  
EB: i thought you were going to say that you were dying or something.  
GT: !  
GT: I should think that were that the case id be much quicker about getting to my point.  
EB: yeah well even if it's not life-threatening, you could maybe work on that.  
GT: Oh yes i suppose so.  
EB: who all are we talking about here? and are you sure? because sometimes it really looks like someone likes you and then it turns out you were just reading things wrong or maybe they do like you but it's in a different quadrant than you thought because it turns out there's an awful lot of aspects to romance that you might not have considered yet!  
GT: Yes well i suppose that is a possibility for some of my suitors but.  
GT: Oh dagnabbit i guess there's nothing for it but to tell you straight out.  
GT: They told me straight out.  
GT: All of them.  
EB: all of them???  
GT: All of them.  
GT: I'd suspected as much for some time but when i brought the matter to janes attention she denied it.  
EB: woah wait i'm not sure i can give you romantic advice on my nanna.  
GT: Oh come now surely as the veritable father of our whole lot of players you can set aside whatever quasi-genetic relationship everyone bears one another to assist me in this matter.  
EB: ……..  
GT: Please chap im in a right tight spot and im not sure who else to turn to.  
EB: alright i've heard you out this far, you might as well tell the whole story.  
GT: Right then.  
GT: Well as i said at first the ladies presented themselves as having nothing but friendly intentions toward myself.  
GT: But i would later discover that they had only been pretending to harbor no amorous feelings for my person,  
GT: Though why was never entirely clear.  
GT: Nonetheless as i progressed through the medium i found myself the recipient of love confessions from not one but three of my friends.  
GT: Well five.  
EB: there were five of you?  
GT: A couple of striders contraptions also developed feelings for my person though im still not sure how to address those since they seemed unsure of their intentions themselves  
GT: and they are really not in a position to pursue those feelings any longer.  
EB: so what you're saying is  
EB: basically everyone that meets you falls in love with you?  
GT: Well i suppose if you want to put it that way—  
GT: Yes.  
EB: pfffffffft.  
GT: Yes well that brings me to my next point.  
EB: ????????  
GT: A certain dead-eyed cerulean-blooded girl also confessed romantic feelings to me.  
EB: y  
EB: you t  
EB: you talked to vriska  
GT: No though she mentioned someone by that name.  
GT: She said her name was spinneret and seemed quite taken with me.  
GT: I must admit i was also very enamored of her so it took me some time to realize her feelings for me were sincere and not my own projections onto her.  
EB: so three humans two bots and one alien ghost are in love with you.  
GT: Yes.  
GT: Well no.  
EB: no?  
GT: There's one live troll in the mix.  
GT: and three more dead ones.  
GT: And another human.  
GT: I think.  
GT: And maybe one more but it honestly concerns me im not really sure since i havent had a straight out confession from her but it worries me a great deal if its true.  
EB: woah woah woah  
GT: Because it would mean  
EB: this is starting to sound a lot more complicated than i thought.  
GT: Im sorry lad.  
EB: maybe we should talk about this in person?  
GT: Oh!  
GT: Well yes id much appreciate that.  
EB: alright, i'll zoom on over to roxy's land—that's where you're at, right?  
GT: Spot-on.  
EB: hehe, be there in a minute!

golgathasTerror [GT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]


	2. Share

            John swung his legs over the ledge, flicking tiny glittering gems out into the dark void below. Jake seemed a little more wary of the sheer drop, but plopped down next to his sort-of grandson anyway, plucking at an unraveling thread on his long green sleeve. Everyone else had been quick to alchemize new outfits and gadgets the second the technology had been available to them, but Jake had insisted that an adventurer needed to be able to make do with the materials available to them.  
            John thought it was kind of charming. Three years on the battleship had taught him the importance of function over form when it came to clothes, and he could admire Jake's practicality. But something about seeing him in threadbare-worn threads made John want to march him over to the nearest alchemizer and teach him a few fashion tricks. Maybe there'd be time for that later. He'd been sort of puzzled, but mostly annoyed when Jake first pestered him without any seeming point, but now that he'd actually seen him, there was just something about his charming smile that made John grin in response and want to hang out with him.  
            "I can kind of see what the appeal is!" was the first thing he said, and Jake looked so stricken that he laughed himself right off the ledge, holding his stomach and floating a few feet out as great big guffaws shook his frame. He righted himself after a couple minutes, drifting back over to Jake, who'd bolted up to stare after him with wide eyes. John flashed him a grin, doing a loop-da-loop before alighting on the ledge next to him. "Don't look so shocked! You're like, fifty percent me. Or I'm fifty percent you? Either way, we're related, so ladies are totally digging our mangrit."  
            Jake smiled in response, still a little pale as his eyes darted from John to the ledge and back again. "Yes well, I'll be sure to direct some of my suitors your way then."  
            John heaved a mock sigh, smile still twitching around his lips as he sank to the ground, sitting cross-legged, Jake following soon after. "Alright so the basic problem is, everyone is in love with you, and you don't know how to respond to them."  
            Jake nodded, lines creasing his face as he covered his face with his hands, pushing his glasses up to his forehead. "That's the gist."  
            A hand on his knee made Jake jerk his head back up, green eyes wide when they met John's. He paused, holding his breath, staring at the other boy. Were John's eyes always so blue?  
            John pulled his hand back, managing to keep his heartbeat steady and the flush hidden under the collar of his shirt. Looked like those cool lessons from Davesprite were paying off. He probably could have done without some of the other lessons, though!  
            "How do you feel about them?" he asked. "Is there anyone you'd want to, maybe kiss and stuff?"  
            Jake rubbed at his neck, looking down into his lap. "I wouldn't find a relationship amiss with a good number of them."  
            Leaning in closer, John peered up at Jake, nose scrunched and glasses sliding down his nose. "There's not one that you think about more than the others?"  
            Jake frowned, brow furrowing as he thought. "Maybe," he finally said. "But there's not really a clear winner. Sometimes I think it would just be better if everyone could just…share." He gave a laugh, a little hollow sounding. "I certainly wouldn't mind sharing someone I fancied if I were in such a position. But I'm not sure my dozen callers or so would be quite so…"  
            "Open-minded?" John prompted.  
            Jake gave him a wry grin. "I was going to say 'kinky.' But alright."  
            Blood rushed to John's face, but he ducked his head and hid his embarrassment with a sheepish grin. "So why'd you come to me with this, anyway?" he muttered. "No offense, but we've hardly talked since you guys joined our session, even after Dave bought us some downtime with the mother of all timeloops."  
            "I've sort of regretted that, to be honest. You're just as much my—er well, I suppose not really my ancestor, I just—well I've been quite looking forward to meeting you, but it seemed like you were awful busy and I suppose that I might've let my hero-worship jitters get in the way." He rubbed at his neck again, sheepish smile an odd mirror of John's expression. "And well, considering your leadership position and your extensive knowledge of all the players involved, I thought this might be a good time to come to you."  
            "I dunno," John mumbled. "I'm not really the leader I used to be. I don't…know everyone, like I thought I did." An awkward hand patting John's shoulder this time, and John gave Jake a crooked grin, one hand going up to cover the callused palm.   
            "It's crazy," Jake said. "This game. It changes the way you think about time. All these things happening in just one day—I can't imagine all of it, happening three years ago. I never would have been able to handle it. And then to be here, not attacked but still in the game, for three years—you're a better man than me, Egbert. A stronger man. And a damn fine leader." He gave John a last pat on the shoulder before pulling his hand back  
            Color rose in John's cheeks. He punched Jake lightly on the shoulder, saying "Oh well, I never was trying to lead anyone to begin with. I just wanted to be a good friend." The last was said a bit forlorn, adam's apple bobbing when he swallowed, and Jake was seized by the urge to protect him, to make him happier.  
            He jumped up, John looking startled as he burst into movement, booted feet planted wide as he announced, "We should go on an adventure!"  
            John floated up to eye-level with Jake, feet hovering a few inches off the ground as he scrunched his eyebrows. "But I thought you wanted advice?"  
            His shoulders drooped a bit, but Jake kept up his tone, volume maybe even going up a notch. "Well sure! But a good blood-pumping bout of excitement is always good for clearing the head and bringing to focus what needs to be done. So what do you say, chap? Care to seek a thrill with your old grandson?"  
            John wiggled his eyebrows mischievously. "That depends, _gramps_. How do you feel about flying?"


End file.
